10 things I learned about marriage

I’ve been married a year as of last Monday, Aug 7. In the last year I’ve learned a lot of things, and thought I’d put a few of them down. If you’ve been married for a while you probably know this stuff, but maybe it will benefit somebody.

  1. “OK I’m ready to go” doesn’t mean she’s ready to go. Wait until you hear that 3 times before you bother putting on your shoes.
  2. Just because she’s upset doesn’t mean it’s your fault. Women can get upset about anything or nothing. Do yourself a favor and don’t get upset just because she’s upset.
  3. Just because it’s not your fault doesn’t mean it’s not your problem. Whether you did it or not, you’ll pay for it. It’s best to get to work listening to what she has to say and seeing if there’s anything you can do to make her feel better.
  4. Just because the dishwasher is done doesn’t mean the dishes can come out and be put away. Dishes have to be shaken and manipulated in a certain way only she understands and left to dry for an additional period of time before they’re usable.
  5. Even if she’s wrong, you need to say you’re sorry. She can be so wrong that you can draw up a written mathematical proof of it and take her through it step by step to show her she’s wrong, and that won’t change anything. In fact it will make it worse. Give up and just say you’re sorry.
  6. Put the toilet seat down. I know it’s not fair because she never leaves the seat up for you, but you’re a man. Deal with it. It’s not worth the trouble.
  7. The fact that you stood in front of a room full of people and swore to her and a member of the clergy that you will love her always means nothing. In her minds it’s not a binding contract that’s in effect forever. You’ll have to keep telling her you love her over and over. She won’t get tired of it but you will, so find new and creative ways to tell her and show her you love her. After a while you’ll even start to enjoy it.
  8. You can live with 2 pairs of shoes. She can’t. It’s a need, not a want. I don’t know why.
  9. You are the man, which means you are in charge. You are stronger, and you’re a leader. The only problem is you’ll have to convince her you’re in charge by being worthy of respect. A leader isn’t someone who beats other people into submission. You’ll have to work hard to show her that she can trust you to lead, and that you’ll do the right thing no matter what. She needs to know you’ll suffer so she doesn’t have to before she’ll even begin to trust you. Chances are someone did a really bad job of this before you, which makes it much harder.
  10. Sleeping with the same woman every night is better than sleeping with a different woman every night. Doing the same thing over and over doesn’t get boring, it just allows you to pick up on details you didn’t notice the first 100 times. You have to pay attention, though.

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